Recession Roomies

One of the newest trends the recession has created, or at least the most fascinating to me, is the movement toward separated couples staying together simply because they can’t afford to divorce. Not only is it “cheaper to keep her.” Apparently it’s cheaper to keep him as well.

When my divorce process began the economy was just pondering a nosedive, but the divorce would clearly mess up our financial plan. We obviously we not be continuing our savings and retirement plans together. We would have to pay lawyers, split our assets and debts and start over. One or both of us would have to move and we would have to sell the house, or at least try like hell. But during all of this, I never once considered not getting divorced because the process was giving my wallet a migraine. To me, divorce was the only way out of a big rut and I didn’t care how much it took to be on my own again.

But there are others who feel differently. In some cases, couples are deciding to continue living under the same roof and waiting to file for divorce until the economy improves. This, I have great respect for. I think. Personally, I cannot imagine voluntarily living under the same roof as my soon-to-be ex. I did it for six weeks and it was unbelievably awful. It was one of the things he did to both make me crazy and to convince me to stay. He almost won on the former. I thought I might just lose my mind, but I walked away with my sanity because it was temporary and I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel.

How people can live with their ex is just amazing to me. I wanted to run, run, run, as far as possible and never look back. I think people that can do this must be a special kind of people – people that can sit across the table from the person they no longer want to share their life with and … share their life with them. I realized I truly wanted a divorce when my mom asked me, “would you rather be alone than be married to him?” I said yes. And I meant it. I wanted to be alone – at least for the time being. I made a decision to be happy and that, unfortunately for everyone involved, did not include my husband.

I guess there are people out there who are more financially responsible, and patient, and selfless. Living with the someone you thought you would be with for the rest of your life must be incredibly difficult but if you can come out on the other side of a divorce with at least your wallet intact, then you’re one step ahead of the rest of us. If you can do it, go for it because every other aspect of your life is going to change, saving some change in the process is a great idea.