First Steps / Second Time: Studio pix

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Studio pix

As I enter into the world of online dating, or trying to find someone to date online, it amazes me to see how many men have studio portraits of themselves posted as their pictures. And I'm not just talking one or two. I'm talking a handful of staged shots that they paid a professional photographer to take in their studio. They are each slightly different -- the backdrop will change color or the "subject" will be leaning with elbow on knee and chin resting on fist. Sometimes the blazer is on - other times off.

But whatever pose they chose, they are still studio shots taken by a PHOTOGRAPHER in a STUDIO. I don't get it. Is this a common practice that I have not thus far been aware of? Are there certain studios/photographers who specialize is such shots, or can you just contact anyone with a camera and a backdrop?

Do they use these photos for other purposes? Or is it strictly for online dating? Cuz I don't think they're using them for their resume (as is the new trend even though I am vehemently opposed). If you have any insight, please let me know as my subscription with eharmony is about to expire and I do not intend to renew it ... even though this will mean no more studio photos to gag at. I think I can live with it.

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Beginning Again

This blog is for those of you, the many of you, who find yourselves dating -- again.

You used to date when you were younger. It was fun sometimes. Other times it sucked. You laughed a lot. You cried a bit. But eventually you found "the one" and you decided to take the plunge. Most likely, an expensive white dress was involved, rings were exchanged, tears were aplenty and you were finally husband and wife -- a "we." You said to yourself (and probably your spouse) that the absolute BEST part of being married is that you never have to date ever again!

Fast forward a few years (or maybe more if you're lucky) and now you're the opposite of "we." You used to be a "we." Most of your friends are part of a "we," but you have have recently been handed the 21st century version of the Scarlet Letter: "D." You are now the friend that's divorced.

So, what do you do? You get bored. You try a new hobby or sport. Or both. You run a marathon. You build a house for Habitat for Humanity. You watch a ridiculous number of 'Sex and the City' reruns. If you're childless, you babysit your friends' kids. And then you realize that sooner or later you are going to have to get out there again. For many, it's no big deal. For others, it's rough. And I don't think the difficulty one finds in dating after divorce is necessarily relative to the number of years you were married. I think that if it sucked before you got married, it's probably going to suck now.

You're older, more set in your ways, not willing to deal with the crap you used to be and let's face it, you've put on a few extra pounds. Perhaps you've even grown a little cynical (thanks, Blue's Traveler), but ... as everyone reminds you ... you've got to start somewhere. So you go on that blind date, join the internet dating site or call the girl in high school you never had the guts to ask out because you just found out SHE's getting divorced.

Again, you take the plunge - just a slightly different one this time. You venture out into the world of first dates in your 30s, 40s or 50s. As you have probably guessed by now, I am in this very situation and I've found it both extremely funny and extremely irritating. I'm sure there are a number of self help books to guide me through this, but a wise and wonderful friend of mine suggested I start a blog. And I listened.

I'm hoping everyone out there who has been in this situation will share their stories with me, especially the funny ones. Because if we're going to get through this, god knows we need to laugh.